Do you know how much influence you have in terms of how you describe your life details to yourself?
This week in The Nourished Woman, we're talking about the importance of dialing down drama in our lives.
A client told me yesterday she found herself at a level 10 drama at work this week when - after using the tools she's learning in The Nourished Woman - she realized it could've stayed at a level 1.
We all do this, don't we?
We look at our lives, sprinkle in details that ramp up unnecessary stress, overwhelm, urgency, and worry.
A lighthearted but common example of how drama surfaces is often heard in the way some women talk about grocery shopping...
First I have to figure out the shopping list, which takes forever.
Then, I have to get in my car and drive through traffic to the store.
Then, I have to find a cart and go through each aisle.
The lettuce is bad. The chicken is about to expire. The eggs are so expensive.
Then, I have to wait in line to checkout.
Then, unload my stuff on the belt.
Then, I have to put it back in my cart.
Then, I have to push the cart to my car in the sloshy snow.
Then, I have to unload the groceries into my car and drive home.
Then, I have to unload them again into my house.
Then, I have to put them away.
All of this... and I don't even like to cook!
Do you hear the drama? Can you feel it?
It sounds exhausting.
Because it is.
Drama is exhausting.
It drains our precious energy reserves which already seem to be on short supply these days.
Maybe for you, the "thing" is not grocery shopping.
Maybe it's a relationship. You nitpick every single thing the other person does or says that drives you bonkers.
Or, you dramatize things about a situation or person to such a high level that it is paralyzing.
Maybe for you, the "thing" isn't a relationship either... maybe it's life in general.
You focus on what's going wrong or what's not going right... or how it could be better. And your focus is all on the problems.
Or, it's engaging in gossip.
Or, it's parenting... you're at a level 10 drama when it would serve you and your child best to be working at a level 1 or 2.
Or, maybe you're working through a health diagnosis. I've been there. I've experienced my health story at a level 10 and at a level 1.
Or, it's finances... there are very real stressors when bills can't get paid. But pay attention to how you talk about money.
Or politics... the drama level is so high we're not even able to engage in conversation with someone who sees things differently. When we absorb their anger, their response, their impatience, their slander, their meanness... do you notice how we become all of those things too?
But...
It's helpful know drama is normal.
To an extent, we're 'hardwired' for it... there's a part of the brain that's always looking for danger.
It's function is to look out for our survival and safety.
This becomes a problem when we let that part of our brain take over.
And we create a bunch of stories in our head about situations that aren't even the facts of what's happening.
And we think these stories are true when they're most likely not. And certainly not the whole story.
We don't manage our minds and we let the drama drive...
...what we do
...what we consume
...how we act or react
...how we interact with the world around us.
Victor Frankl says, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Read that again ^^
So, let me ask...
Where do you sprinkle your life with excess drama?
Where do you ramp up the unnecessary details in your life?
Focusing on the problem... Complaining... Blaming... Absorbing other people's energy around you...
Here's my invitation.
Be present and listen to yourself.
Do you hear the drama?
If yes, what would it look like to not dramatize the situation?
Can you re-tell a situation in a neutral or positive way without changing the facts?
How would that feel differently to you?
Is it possible that you're committed to the drama and gloom of something that is harmless or neutral... possibly even positive?
Next time, before you react, before you speak...
Give yourself the gift of the pause.
Create space - a breath - a pause - between stimulus and response.
Take 3 slow deep breaths before you respond and take notice.
You won't do this perfectly at first. But you can do it purposefully.
p.s. Are you looking to dial down the drama in your life? The drama that leads to overeating, emotional eating, overwhelm and stress? If so, I'd love to help you. The best place to begin is to schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation so I can get to know all about you and what you're currently experiencing and what you want to experience instead. Let's get started. Click HERE.
