Years ago, I remember a post on Facebook that read:
“The most dreaded question of my day: What’s for dinner?”
The reason this caught my attention was because this woman is one educated lady in the world of health. She understands real food is medicine. Real food heals. Real food is sustaining and important to whole health. She knows the value of meal planning. Real food is life-giving and boosts energy, gives mental clarity, supports your immune system, helps kids think clearly and learn well. Blah Blah Blah.
And still, she wrote this question. Whether it's meal planning or something else (for me right now, it's mid-winter exercise) having knowledge doesn't necessarily make something easy to do.
Naturally, I was curious what motivated her to post this on social media. Was it because misery loves company and she just wanted to find others who wanted to share in her frustration? Was this her way of looking for suggestions for meal ideas? I was so incredibly curious to read the FB comments to her post.
Here were some comments:
“Who has time to cook dinner?”
“Hot dogs for the 3rd night in a row over here! Mom of the Year award!"
“I end up making two or three meals EVERY night because my kids are so picky, it’s a drag."
“No one likes my cooking, therefore I hate to cook for them.”
“I hear you, I don’t want to spend the entire day in the kitchen to make healthy dinners.”
“I struggle with this too, I don’t like to cook.”
“I’m too busy to think about getting a decent meal on the table.”
“I’m in such a food rut, I don’t know what to make these days so I just order pizza and take out.”
There were also other voices chiming in about what they were cooking and they suggested meal ideas that were easy to prepare and healthy. Another woman shared how she makes it a time to hang with her son in the kitchen and yet another who shared listening to music or talking with a friend on the phone while cooking was helping her get through those tough hours.
The irony was that the woman who posted responded with all sorts of reasons why those helpful suggestions and recipes just wouldn't work for her. She was defeated. And conversely, it fueled the conversations of misery.
It was, quite honestly, a very depressing feed because none of the positive solutions were resolving the “dreaded” question she asks everyday. Queue Debby Downer.
With all our knowledge on what’s healthy and good for us, why do we still get tripped up? I have a hunch or two and I’ll share them in a minute.
Several years ago, every time I taught FAMILY FOOD REVOLUTION, I asked the women on the first day how many of them do weekly meal planning. On average only 2 women at the beginning of each session (out of 30 women) were meal planning each week. On average, that's 1 in 15 women (or 7 out of 100).
I have clients who have the flashiest Pinterest boards with the most gorgeous photos of delicious food, and yet they struggle each week to “find recipes” for their families.
I’ve had clients who are incredibly intelligent and talented and do really hard and challenging and amazing things in life. But when it comes to cooking, they lack confidence.
I have clients who are so busy juggling so many roles, that meal planning takes a back seat to work and to family, getting kids to their weekly (if not daily) sports practices, music lessons, and social & church events. These women talk about how often they all graze at the counter or take nibbles on the go or order take-out on the regular when they get home after a busy day.
I meet women who are so hard on themselves to do things perfectly or they set very high expectations to have it all together and maintain a certain way of doing things, and their perception of meal standards is so high, it’s unattainable. So their entire experience is incredibly stressful. What they need is simplicity and to give themselves permission to relax into the messy and unpredictable process of cooking and planning meals around schedules and life’s unexpected twists and turns.
All of this to say, if you relate to any of this, YOU are not alone. And if you're open to it, I'll share a few ways you can change this for yourself.
Know this. I am very passionate about helping you create more ease around this topic which is why I'm in your inbox today.
Can you imagine walking around for another year, two years, 5 years feeling the stress around this question? EVERY day?
I hear things like...
"When this season is over...then I'll..." and
"After I get through this..., then I'll..."
...but somehow, that time never comes.
Would you like it to be easier?
Because, I know that if this becomes easier, a whole lotta other things in life get easier too.
What if it could be easier in the next 4 weeks?
I re-opened FAMILY FOOD REVOLUTION to help you make this easier. To provide tools, strategies, organization, and mindset around how to feed your family health nourishing meals without all the drama and stress.
Do you remember the woman I shared with you at the beginning of this message? The one asking her most dreaded question, "What's for dinner?" She’s smart, ambitious, and talented. I also have a hunch why she’s getting tripped up every day with this question.
Here’s what I know.
Your focus determines your experience.
If you label your cooking experience / what’s-for-dinner question / grocery shopping experience as dreadful, tedious, annoying, exhausting...
Guess what?
IT’S GOING TO BE THAT.
You’ve heard me say, "You can’t hate your body into loving your body." Likewise, you can’t hate your way into falling in love with cooking. You can’t "dread" your way into making meal prep fun and enjoyable. You can't ignore the intentionality of meal planning only to have your meals magically and strategically made for you everyday (unless you hire a personal chef, and if you can do that, give that gift to yourself!).
YOU are what will change the course for you. If you believe this is the most dreaded question of the day, nothing will change your story until you change your mind about the story you wish to tell. Could we dig deeper into the belief systems that drive you? Absolutely.
But let’s start here:
Ask two simple questions:
1) Do I want to change this story for myself? If yes:
2) How can I change this story for myself?
Maybe the first place to begin is to join me for FAMILY FOOD REVOLUTION to know what’s possible for you.
But let me warn you, it’s a REALLY positive supportive place to change your experience with feeding your family healthy nourishing meals. If you’re not in a place ready to change that or experience that kind of support, it will most likely not be the place for you...
This is a place for women who are curious, open, and ready to see what’s possible for them and to learn the tools, strategies, organization, and mindset for a positive, empowering family food revolution.
If you’re ready for that place, let me offer one other suggestion.
Pay attention.
Simply pay attention to how it feels in your mind, body and spirit; how it’s affecting your life to walk through each day holding the stress of, "This is the most dreaded question of the day" or "I hate to cook" or "Meal planning exhausts me" or "I'm tired of fighting about food with my kids." Pay attention to the quality of connection in your relationships when you’re stressed, running to the store last minute, or making dinner with whining, hungry, and picky children.
The stress you feel in your body when you ask your "dreaded" question every day only fuels cravings and mood swings and fatigue. So, just simply notice. And then decide if you're ready to write a new story.
