Within this past year ...
...I closed up a 5-year business partnership
...reestablished my 16-year private and group coaching practice at the height of lockdown
...my husband was furloughed for 3 months
...I homeschooled my three boys this schoolyear ... while working full time
...my dad had a double lung transplant in August
...I was diagnosed with toxic levels of mold, heavy metals and glyphosate.
...I drove to 3-6 appointments every week last fall for my health...for 5 months
...hired a Building Biologist to test our home for mold. It was very evident we needed to remediate our 100 year old home.
...we’re currently in the process of remediating our home.
...everything that was in our basement is currently in our garage.
...we’ve been without a washer and dryer for three weeks
...we're in the height of baseball season. 12 games two weeks ago. 10 games last week.
...in January, I realized the treatments the doctor was prescribing were only making me feel worse. It was the wrong course of treatment. I scrapped my entire treatment plan and found a new doctor in March....5 months and $10,000 later.
...and I haven't even mentioned the local, state, country and world events that have unfolded before all of us.
A few years ago, any one of these things would have spun me into so much overwhelm and stress and anxiety.
But this year, I am so grateful to have experienced all of this so much differently than years past.
More calm. Less overwhelmed. More curiosity. More relaxed. Less resistance. Less stress. More acceptance. More surrender. Less reactive. More trust.
It doesn’t mean I haven’t felt sadness or disappointment or frustration.
I have.
But these things have not overwhelmed me.
I have felt overwhelmed from time to time, but the difference is I don't stay in it and I know how to move out of it.
Mainly, because I'm learning how to think thoughts …. on purpose.
What does that mean?
It means that I listen to my thoughts and decide if I want to keep thinking those thoughts. I might ask myself:
Do I like this thought?
Is it useful?
Does this thought serve me? My highest good? My family or client's highest good?
Is this thought producing actions that reflect who I want to be and how I want to feel?
Does this thought produce overwhelm, anxiety or stress?
Am I focusing on the problem or a solution?
We think upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day, and my entire life, I've been running around with a mental conditioning that's had me unconscious of my thoughts and thinking patterns. Most of us do. And our unconscious thinking patterns are often creating anxiety, stress and overwhelm.
I'd hear myself say:
Life is crazy. It's so out of control.
I'm so tired of this.
I'm so overwhelmed. There's so much to do.
I wish this wasn't happening.
That person is driving me nuts.
I don't have enough time.
What a waste of money.
While these thoughts might have been true, none of them were useful for me and I didn't like what transpired when I let these thoughts 'drive the bus'.
As I am choosing, slowly but surely, to manage my mind, I am experiencing my circumstances in a significantly different way.
It does require pausing and practicing new thoughts but it's been so worth the effort.
Today, I share this with you because this practice has helped me so much with my stress, overwhelm and anxiety. And since we've all had our version of "life happening" this year, maybe it will be helpful for you as well. Listen to your thoughts.
And ask yourself:
Do I like this thought?
Is it useful?
Is it serving me? My family? My marriage?
Is it contributing to my stress and overwhelm?
Is it producing actions that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel?
Am I focusing on the problem or the solution?
When you choose the way you think about something, it will change how you experience it.
This includes your overwhelm... Your time... Your relationships... Your finances... Your job... Your stressors... The way you talk about yourself, your body, and your life... All of it.
My upcoming program, Overcoming Overwhelm, addresses this way of thinking.
So while the circumstances of your life might not change, the way you're thinking about them and experiencing them will change significantly.
I finished teaching this course to a company last week and I received an email from one of the women this morning:
"I must say, I went into your course hoping it would “fix” our team, dynamics, relationships, and daily interactions. Over the course, one of the most important things you have taught me is that maybe it is not the team itself that needs to change but my reactions, emotions, and how I interpret my coworkers. It has tremendously changed my outlook on how I show up to work and life each day. I can only control myself – how I feel and react.
So thank you very much, I appreciate you and the time you have taken in working with our team! I would highly recommend your course because, it not only provides instruction on Overcoming Overwhelm but also provides personal, relatable, and customized teaching through the one-on-one sessions."
This course was birthed years ago out of my own overwhelm story. The practices and tools in the course have changed my previously overwhelmed life. And they have changed this woman too.
And they can change yours too.
I'd love to show you how.
