I left a voice text for a friend this week.
I told her my reason for not getting back to her text 5 days ago is that "It's been crazy busy."
I heard myself say it and thought of the overwhelmed stressed out woman I was years ago that used that phrase all the time.
But this week, as I heard myself say it, I first thought, "I don't say this anymore. Where is this coming from?"
(Many insights came from answering that question!)
And then I thought, "What does Crazy Busy even mean?"
While it means different things to different people, some words straight from the dictionary include...
==> unbalanced, distracted, departing from proportion or moderation, and...
==> not mentally sound; marked by thought or action that lacks reason.
It can also mean enthusiastic, passionate and excited.
But listening to my clients, I don't hear them sharing enthusiasm and passion about being crazy busy.
So back to my text...
Is it really crazy busy or just a reason that sounded good in the moment for taking 5 days to text her back?
Truth is, it's neither. Those words were just an old default-pattern popping up.
It's not "crazy busy" here even though my mind will try to convince me otherwise.
There are many things on my mind and schedule, yes.
I am feeling the transition this week as we get ready for school, yes.
There are several big decisions I'm in the process of making, yes.
But "crazy busy"? No.
I decided years ago to eliminate that phrase from my vocabulary... even when our family has 15 sports events in a week.
==> because frankly, it's not a useful phrase.
For me, "crazy busy" gives off an energy and an assumption that things feel out of control or out of my control.
It gives off the energy that I am at the mercy of whatever is happening.
That someone other than me is "pulling the strings" in how I spend my days.
That I'm living my life reacting to what's right in front of me.
That I don't have any choice in the matter.
The moment I believe this, I live into this.
And the moment I live into this is the moment overwhelm and stress and the hurried-life creep in.
And when they do, it spills over into a bunch of other areas in my life where I begin to feel like I'm at the mercy of whatever is happening and I don't have choice or agency over my life.
That taking care of myself (i.e. eating well, sitting down to eat my meal, getting to bed on time, taking Sabbath, rest, choosing the priority over the thing right in front of me) cannot happen because I'm bound to a schedule pulling me in all sorts of directions.
And I want to always believe that I have a choice ==> no matter what.
So the phrase crazy busy (and many similar phrases) have been replaced.
And so... it has me wondering how you talk about your schedule. Your list. Your day-to-day.
School is starting next week for many families, our family included.
And this is a time where schedules change and fall sports and new rhythms begin.
This week I put the kids' school, tennis and soccer schedules in my google calendar.
How do you think I will feel if I decide to say, "Wow, this is going to be crazy busy." or... "This is a lot."
How do you feel when you say those things?
For me, when I use these words, I get a tightness is my chest and I begin to think differently about the concept of time.
That there's not enough of it.
And when I feel like I'm running out of time, I run around, always in a hurry, in a rush, never in the moment, reacting to the thing right in front of me and putting the things that are the most important for my health and well-being on the back burner.
How you talk about our schedule will directly influence your level of overwhelm and stress.
So this week, consider how you are talking about your schedule.
Listen to the story in your head right now about your schedule.
And for those heading into fall school rhythms with lists and sports and carpooling and logistics...
==> How are you talking about it?
==> How do you want to talk about it?
Your schedule does not need to change in order for you to relate differently to it.
So...
Listen to what you think about it.
Listen to the way you talk about it.
Listen for what you believe about it.
How is it impacting your level of unnecessary overwhelm and stress?
If there's any part of you that desires to feel differently and to relate differently with your schedule, spend time answering the following questions and see what comes up for you.
1) What is the story in my head about my schedule? What phrases and words do I hear myself saying/thinking that I might want to replace?
2) Can I allow myself to think about this differently without needing anything in my schedule to change?
3) What shift in perspective am I ready for?
